Personally, I believe two consenting adults who are tired of having sex have every right to get married. Facebook announced this week that they’re worth over 100 billion dollars. 100 billion? Wow. Thats almost as much as businesses lose by their employees being on Facebook . The Kentucky Derby was run this week and it was again won by a guy from Kenya. The Today show this week had the Columbian prostitute who did the secret service. Matt Lauer, what a tool, he made a big deal by saying they never pay for interviews..Jeez, will somebody pay this chick? The Avengers made over 200 million this weekend. Thats a record. and if your computer broke over the weekend and you went to the geek squad, nobody was there.
The Week Gone By
April 26th, 2012
The president is campaigning this summer on creating jobs, which he feels is gaining momentum. Well, if you count 11 Columbian hookers, I guess he has a point. Another Secret Service agent was fired this week. This was the one who tried to pay the Columbian prostitute 30 bucks instead of 300. Hey, he saved us 270 tax dollars. Thats money he can now spend back here in the US on American hookers…..Lakers star Ron Artest — Metta World Peace, that’s his name now — was ejected from a game for a vicious elbow to the head of Oklahoma’s James Harden. We haven’t seen an elbow like that since someone came between Kirtsie Alley and a plate of french fries.
50% of college grads will be unemployed. What’s your back-up plan?
News Mash 4.20.12
April 22nd, 2012
11 secret agents have been accused of enlisting the services of Columbian prostitutes while preparing for President Obama’s visit.
Apparently, members of the military have have also hired the hookers, but they overpaid by billions Plus, dog eating presidents, and white men dancing.
The Scars To Prove It
April 9th, 2012
I have lived, and I have the scars to prove it.
Here in Southern California, where lines, wrinkles, sags and bags have fallen way to the wizardry of the cosmetic surgeon, I stand alone. I love my imperfections. And there’s a lot to love.
I have lived thru battles with rough edges, gravity, knuckles, a few bb’s and an arrow. And with it, some rust and wear. But I’m still here. Sure, I’m not as pretty as Matthew McConaughey, but I don’t need to be. I’m a guy. We have different rules. Seriously, would Jack Nicholson still get sex if he were a woman? (That sounds wrong, but you get it.)
I don’t mind getting older. Why? Because, it’s better than a face full of dirt. As a society however, we have decided that youth is king. TV, movies, magazines celebrate youth. But it’s really a den of fear. Of age. Of death. But not me. I like my cars,wine and women with a few miles on em. Life is to be lived. It’s said he who has the most toys when he dies, wins.
That’s not true. It’s whoever has the best stories. And the scars to prove them.
~Chip Franklin 1/16/12
15 Minute Fame
April 8th, 2012
I was telling my son about Andy Warhol’s declaration that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. He said, “who’s Andy Warhol?”
I’ve been in front of a microphone for all of my life, playing/paying my way thru colleges in a band, doing standup while my kids grew up, and now radio here in San Diego. I started performing because girls seemed to like musicians, but also because people paid attention to you. I know that sounds shallow, but it’s true. At the heart of why any of us performs is a neurosis that our words need amplification over yours.
Fame however is a fleeting thing, and keeps me working to justify my increased volume. I’ve been on national TV and heard my songs on the radio, and it’s a great feeling.
But I’ve been around long enough to not take it for granted. I’m not famous by any stretch, but there are enough people listening that occasionally I get recognized.
Like the other day this woman asked me, “Are you Chip Franklin?” “Yes, I said, “I am.” She tilted her head and then said, “You’re an a-hole” and walked away.
I bet Andy Warhol didn’t tell you that.
Smart Money?
April 7th, 2012
The cost of college is outrageous. I want to know why. I was in college in 1984, and it was
2500. My kids go to college now & it’s 25 thousand. They’re not ten times smarter.
Actually, I know why. Because more people want to go. The question is, is college worth the investment?
I don’t know, but my plumber just pulled up in a Lexus, and I’m pretty sure he didnt learn lefty loosey and righty-tighty in the Ivy league
Suckers Step Right Up!
April 7th, 2012
US debt “crisis?” Not so much. The proposed cuts are like carny math. If Congress passes a bill to spend a trillion on paving the ocean, then the next day a bill to pave it for but “half a trillion,” they’ll claim they saved us 500 billion. The frightening part? They believe every word. What they refuse to understand is unsustainable. Doesn’t take a genius to know you can’t spend your way out of debt. Step right up!
Demand
April 7th, 2012
This video was the 2010 Edward R Murrow winner for TV writing.
3D Housework
April 6th, 2012
Playboy came out last week with a Playboy centerfold in 3D.
Men’s magazines have always intrigued me. I wonder why don’t women have the same fascination with naked men. So I asked my wife, what kind of magazine would really turn her on, she thought it over and said, pictures of Chip doing chores around the house.
She got all hot just thinking about it.
Wait till she sees it in 3-D. Honey, I’ve got the vacuum!
Type A+++
February 20th, 2012
I’m a Type A person. What is that?
We’re the kind of people who stand in the express checkout line at the supermarket, counting other people’s items. Lady? I think you have 16 there. Ahh, but I see the Twinkies under the semi-boneless ham. You better round up your kids and get your pregnant ass in the right line. Too harsh?
Type-A people are proud. For example, I will never let you merge if you go all the way to the end of the entrance ramp and try to get in front. And worse, if you’re that car in front of me in traffic, allowing too much space in between cars and you let that guy in..I’m all over you. GOOOO!!!!! I hate that.
That’s why I drive an old beat-up car. In the land of Lexus and BMW, I dare people to try and cut in. Go ahead Mr 2012 sun roof. I’m driving a ‘99 Chevette..I’m ur worst nightmare. I have nothing to lose. Yeah, I know. Just sayin..you want to play with the Typa A’s..There’s a price.
