New study says the top 350 CEO’s pay rose 11%. Now if you hear this and think, “That’s not fair!,” you are the problem.

I hear that a CEO makes big money and think two things. One, I hope I have those stocks in my 401k. And two, I want to be a CEO. See, there is nothing wrong with being a CEO! And I will defend that all the way back to this nation creation.

I opposed TARP, and say that any private person who bribes an elected official via our “lobbying” process should be stoned. That said, those of you who don’t understand basic Econ, smoke this: In your search for “fair,” consider that the rich make your job and your quality of life possible. The gov’t doesn’t exits without the successful entrepreneurs who built this nation. If you can’t swallow that, there is a hard road to come. Because we will fight for this economic freedom. Or as Jefferson coined, “the pursuit of happiness.”

So losers unite and whine, or get off your asses and work. There is no gray area.

Conspiracies theories are always entertaining. The people who believe them however, are often anything but.

The collective denial, whether it’s the Illuminatti, or the latest bin Laden is alive conspiracy, speaks to the fear and skepticism that marks “modern day cynicism” gone off-the-tracks. For example, I don’t trust the government, but by the same hand, these guys can’t keep a mistress secret, much less maintain the cover-up necessary to fulfill the fantasies of today’s conspiracy nuts.

bin Laden is the latest. The people who don’t believe he’s dead, who won’t believe the picture of him dead, who won’t believe the DNA taken from his dead body, are the same kind of people who deny carbon-14 dating, the moon landing, and OJ’s fingerprints around Nicole’s neck.

Here’s my message to you: They’re not that much smarter than you. 9/11 wasn’t an inside job because no group of people could pull that whole thing off without some goober sending an iPhone movie to TMZ. The world doesn’t work that way. Humans have, by nature, at least one wheel off the road.

And here’s how you know I’m not part of the conspiracy trying to get you to go along. Ready? I think your effin nuts.

You think Michael Jackson minds that Prince William dipped into his wardrobe?

The Royal Wedding will be followed by a royal honeymoon. Does one keep a stiff upper lip during that as well? Do they undress themselves, or do they employ commoners to grunt?

Is there a DJ at the reception, and will the queen be grinding on Price Phillip?

Reports are Kate won’t promise to “obey” her husband. Yea, like that has ever worked. Of course, when he says he’s the King of the house, he can back it up. He could have her beheaded, although that would be a little rash.

Hey public employees. I have news for you. Despite what you might have been told, you work for the tax payers. That’s us. And “us?” Well, we thinks you’re getting too many perks.

That’s right. You get perks that we don’t even get. Why? Because you unionized and blackmailed the politicians. They gave into your demands. Smart move. But your greed, as it always does, did you in.

California is drowning in a tsunami of debt. We used to be the world’s eighth largest economy. Now we’re the world’s biggest joke. You have pensions that exceed your salaries, and which you never contributed a dime. Retirement at 50, health insurance for life, all unsustainable.

So we’re taking them back. That’s the final word. Sorry. Our money. Our rules.

Sick your union thugs on 40 million people. I like our odds.

I’m not trying to obfuscate. Marilyn Davenport is an ugly person, as was her Obama/Ape email. It was crude and tasteless. She had previously defended a photo of the White House with watermelons growing. But at least Obama can defend himself. Not so the case with Trig Palin.

Oh you haven’t heard? I’m not surprised. Wonkette, a blog read by millions, published an article, and defended it for days, written by a man anmed Jack Stuef. In this article he attacks Sarah Palin, and more pointedly, her son Trig, who suffers from Down Syndrome.

“A dumb retard, who can’t even dream because he’s retarded, ” Stuef goes on to speculate that Todd fathered the daughters baby and says of Palin’s campaigning “His mom went to a lot of trouble to leak amniotic fluid over 8 states to make sure that he arrived in this world somewhat alive.”

This story, this attack on Palin is so over the top, written by a coward, published online by a left-leaning blog, should be reported with at least the same zeal. I may not support Palin’s politics, but I overwhelmingly support her success and support of disadvantaged children like Trig.

Obama is the president of the free world and can defend himself. Not so much a develop mentally disabled child. Only a scum like Jack Stuef can make Marilyn Davenport actions seem insignificant.

Ironomics is a study of unintended consequences. And no one is better at screwing up the back end than your gov’t.

Minnesota is considering a mileage tax, where you’d pay “more” tax based on the mileage you drive. Why? Because apparently we’re driving less and driving even more efficient cars and they’re not getting as much gas tax revenue. Die In A Fire. They told us to be green, and now we’re screwed. But wait. Shouldn’t officials anticpated this and adjusted their “spending?”

On the other, maybe there is no irony here at all. Maybe they planned this all along.

Oh, and yes, you’d still pay a tax on gas.

The TSA have a difficult job. They have to pretend to be relevant, all the while knowing their screening procedures have become nothing short of a punch line. Now the latest is, if you speak up you they’ll bend you over.

A recent list has come to light of the TSA’s “behavioral indicators” used to identify potentially “high risk” passengers. The indicators include some standard law enforcement observation techniques, nervousness, stress, but as promised by government officials, no mention of race, religion or ethnicity.

But one indicator allows for a close inspection of anyone who displays “Arrogance and contempt against airport passenger procedures.” In other words, you better leave your first amendment rights at home. You know, the right to criticize your government.

I value the intelligence community, FBI, CIA, DIA, NSA, and all law enforcement for keeping us safe over the last decade since the 9/11 attacks shook our nation. Most of their work however is done under the cloak of anonymity. The bumbling work of the TSA however is on full display everyday. And now you’ve been told to shut up and take it.

The FBI raid on three online poker websites, is a thinly veiled attempt, not to protect Americans, but to protect interests “in” America. Namely, the 45 U.S. states who claim lottery proceeds benefit everything from schools to lost puppies.

Did you know that every one of these states funnel lottery revenue to the black hole known as the “general fund?” The states and the federal government then have the gall to decry the motives of online gambling websites. But everyone knows the odds of pulling an inside straight. They’re a whole lot better than finding a straight politician on the inside.

As is often the case, this ain’t about gambling. It’s about money. And the gov’t want yours. More to the point, they want you to believe it’s theirs.

Bolivia is drafting a UN treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans. But she still earns only 80% of what Father Time gets.

I’m an environmentalist. That is to say, I care about the earth in that it supports humans and the things we drink, breathe and eat. But not so much as a living entity.

The earth is a big dirt clod with water, floating through the vastness of space. It may have a spirit, whatever that means. But that is not the point.

We need to be more pragmatic about our planet. And ironically, or not, that is in perfect symmetry with the hairy legged, clog wearin hippies drilling spikes into Oregon trees. Almost.

Whether it’s littering or the dubious science of man-made global warming, the refrain “Save The Earth” can better be expressed thru “Save The Humans.” The earth’s been around for billions of years. And it doesn’t really care whether we stick around for the ride.