Chip Franklin

News Mashed May 11

Chip Franklin — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:48:40 +0000

Personally, I believe two consenting adults who are tired of having sex have every right to get married. Facebook announced this week that they’re worth over 100 billion dollars. 100 billion? Wow. Thats almost as much as businesses lose by their employees being on Facebook . The Kentucky Derby was run this week and it was again won by a guy from Kenya. The Today show this week had the Columbian prostitute who did the secret service. Matt Lauer, what a tool, he made a big deal by saying they never pay for interviews..Jeez, will somebody pay this chick? The Avengers made over 200 million this weekend. Thats a record. and if your computer broke over the weekend and you went to the geek squad, nobody was there.

The Week Gone By

Chip Franklin — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 01:16:30 +0000

The president is campaigning this summer on creating jobs, which he feels is gaining momentum. Well, if you count 11 Columbian hookers, I guess he has a point. Another Secret Service agent was fired this week. This was the one who tried to pay the Columbian prostitute 30 bucks instead of 300. Hey, he saved us 270 tax dollars. Thats money he can now spend back here in the US on American hookers…..Lakers star Ron Artest — Metta World Peace, that’s his name now — was ejected from a game for a vicious elbow to the head of Oklahoma’s James Harden. We haven’t seen an elbow like that since someone came between Kirtsie Alley and a plate of french fries.

50% of college grads will be unemployed. What’s your back-up plan?

News Mash 4.20.12

Chip Franklin — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 20:42:36 +0000

11 secret agents have been accused of enlisting the services of Columbian prostitutes while preparing for President Obama’s visit.
Apparently, members of the military have have also hired the hookers, but they overpaid by billions Plus, dog eating presidents, and white men dancing.

The Scars To Prove It

Chip Franklin — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 01:18:47 +0000

I have lived, and I have the scars to prove it.

Here in Southern California, where lines, wrinkles, sags and bags have fallen way to the wizardry of the cosmetic surgeon, I stand alone. I love my imperfections. And there’s a lot to love.

I have lived thru battles with rough edges, gravity, knuckles, a few bb’s and an arrow. And with it, some rust and wear. But I’m still here. Sure, I’m not as pretty as Matthew McConaughey, but I don’t need to be. I’m a guy. We have different rules. Seriously, would Jack Nicholson still get sex if he were a woman? (That sounds wrong, but you get it.)

I don’t mind getting older. Why? Because, it’s better than a face full of dirt. As a society however, we have decided that youth is king. TV, movies, magazines celebrate youth. But it’s really a den of fear. Of age. Of death. But not me. I like my cars,wine and women with a few miles on em. Life is to be lived. It’s said he who has the most toys when he dies, wins.

That’s not true. It’s whoever has the best stories. And the scars to prove them.

~Chip Franklin 1/16/12

15 Minute Fame

Chip Franklin — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:31:49 +0000

I was telling my son about Andy Warhol’s declaration that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. He said, “who’s Andy Warhol?”

I’ve been in front of a microphone for all of my life, playing/paying my way thru colleges in a band, doing standup while my kids grew up, and now radio here in San Diego. I started performing because girls seemed to like musicians, but also because people paid attention to you. I know that sounds shallow, but it’s true. At the heart of why any of us performs is a neurosis that our words need amplification over yours.

Fame however is a fleeting thing, and keeps me working to justify my increased volume. I’ve been on national TV and heard my songs on the radio, and it’s a great feeling.
But I’ve been around long enough to not take it for granted. I’m not famous by any stretch, but there are enough people listening that occasionally I get recognized.
Like the other day this woman asked me, “Are you Chip Franklin?” “Yes, I said, “I am.” She tilted her head and then said, “You’re an a-hole” and walked away.

I bet Andy Warhol didn’t tell you that.

Smart Money?

Chip Franklin — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 01:55:49 +0000

The cost of college is outrageous. And I want to know why. I was in college in '84, and it was $2500. My kids go to college now & it's $25,000. They're not ten times smarter. Actually, I know why. Because more people want to go. The question is, is college worth the investment? I don't know, but my plumber just pulled up in a Lexus, and I'm pretty sure he didnt learn lefty loosey and righty-tighty in the Ivy league

Suckers Step Right Up!

Chip Franklin — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 23:21:13 +0000

US debt "crisis?" Not so much. The proposed cuts are like carny math. If Congress passes a bill to spend a trillion on paving the ocean, then the next day a bill to pave it for but "half a trillion," they'll claim they saved us 500 billion. The frightening part? They believe every word. What they refuse to understand is unsustainable. Doesn't take a genius to know you can't spend your way out of debt. Step right up!

Demand

Chip Franklin — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 21:19:09 +0000

This video was the 2010 Edward R Murrow winner for TV writing.

3D Housework

Chip Franklin — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 02:42:59 +0000

Playboy came out last week with a Playboy centerfold in 3D. Men's magazines have always intrigued me. I wonder, why don't women have the same fascination with naked men. So I asked my wife, what kind of magazine would really turn her on, she thought it over and said, pictures of Chip doing chores around the house. She got all hot just thinking about it. Wait till she sees it in 3-D. Honey, I've got the vacuum!

The 420-Sexting

Chip Franklin — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 03:56:35 +0000

The 420 on SextingRecently I heard a mother say she caught her teenage daughter sexting, that is, sending naked pictures of herself to her boyfriend. Now, when I was a teenager, i couldn’t get a kiss from spin the bottle, so, you might say I’m a bit flumuxed.

Sexting is now being closely observed by our representatives in Congress. Yeah, I bet it is..There are discussions of whether or not this is some kind of child porn, and does there need to be federal legislation, and maybe an FBI probe.

Look boys and girls, this can be handled quite well without your beltway magic. Moms and dads across America, if you don’t want your daughter snapping booty shots and ending up on some perverts website, take the phone away. But how will i know where she is you say? well, how’s that working out for you now? maybe, 14 year old girls shouldn’t be at the mall for three hours a day, maybe they shouldn’t be wearing shorts that say juicy on the butt. Look, I’m no expert, but if you can’t get your kids to behave correctly, you think Barney Frank and Harry Reid have the answer? I don’t even want to know what they have on their phones…(Shot Of Pelosi) oh thats just wrong